3/25/2009: Frustration...

Someone once told me, "Frustration is a useless emotion." I think that's true. However, it doesn't stop me from feeling it. On Monday, I went to the GED Center in Battle Creek, did some placement testing and filled out some forms. They said there was more placement testing for me to do and that I needed to come back on Tuesday. Well, this morning my dad didn't feel like going, even though I had gotten up at 8:20 when I really didn't want to because I know I need to do this to go to college in the Fall.

We didn't go. My dad worked today and when he came home he told me about a place in Coldwater that does GED testing for free. I have searched for over an hour now and have found nothing. I've found the place he was talking about, but it's an alternative high school, not a GED testing center. Not only that, but I compared numbers and I've already called them before. I called them about two weeks ago around 2:30 pm. Not only was the lady rude, but she said they didn't get into the office until 5 pm. Huh?

I just get so angry because my dad has literally gone off on me three different times about how I'm not committed and I don't care about it because all I do is sit around on my dead lazy a**, (and yeah, he used those exact words). Yet when I try to show my commitment and forego precious hours of sleep, he's "too tired". What the heck?!?

I'm just so angry at him lately. Because we don't have health insurance, he's gone without his Prozac now for two weeks or so. He's so on edge ALL of the time, literally he can go off in the blink of an eye. It reminds me of when I was younger and I don't like it. I don't like it at all. He knows just what to say to make me feel so... worthless.

A positive note, though: I got a letter from my friend Debby today. She's a lady who attends our church, probably early 50's or so... she wants to spend time with me the week of Spring Break, said she'd like to take me out to brunch and then show me "her corner of the world"; her house, her classroom, or maybe go shopping or sight-seeing... something. I love her and I can't WAIT to spend some time with her. She lives in Sturgis, of all places. We'll have to swing by Great Lakes while we're together.

That's my positive note for the day. That's how I know that God is watching and speaking over my life still. That note literally was a ray of sunshine into my entire week thus far.

:)