3/6/2009: Blessings and Struggle...

Today was good and bad.

There's a lady from my congregation, Cathy, I absolutely love her. She's an example of selflessness and obedience. That Bible passage that talks about not allowing your "right hand to know what the left is doing" reminds me of her. :)

Today, she called me to tell me about a sale at a health foods store. They're going out of business and she said they had cans of protein there for ten or fifteen dollars. I thanked her, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, "Too bad my family doesn't have ten or fifteen dollars to spend." It was okay, I didn't really think about it much, if anything I thought I might be able to convince dad to at least go and take a look.

About fifteen minutes after she called, she showed up at the door. We talked for a little while about me quitting smoking, the prayer vigil and some other things. Then, out of the blue, she slips two fifty dollar bills into my hand and says, "This is for you to get protein."

I was awed. I was baffled. I cried. I hugged the living bejeezies out of her. Ha. It was kind of a wakeup call to me, God spoke through her actions. The fact of the matter is that I HAVE three cans of protein, but I haven't been drinking it. I haven't been taking vitamins. You know the whole deal. ;)

I believe it was God's way of saying, "Hey. Get your butt in gear, please. Don't sit around waiting for success to come to you. Get out there, rely on Me, and make it happen."

The bad part of today was that I freaked out old-school style. God caught my attention and ended it before it got too big, but it was scary. A bowl of ice cream dropped on the floor and I just started freaking. I thought I was going to have a panic attack.

I think it was because I had to write my testimony for RMC today and it was like taking a trip back through the darkness. I didn't like it one bit, all of the things I had to remember... I'm gonna have to get past that but for some reason, it was hard today.

So yeah, good and bad. Tomorrow, I do believe I'll be home 'til three. I'll probably be home even later than that, but because my dad is the most HORRIBLE planner on EARTH, I don't know what time he's working until, what time he'll be home, or what time we'll actually LEAVE for GNC. It makes me mad. Ha.